Jamie’s Journal

There are times in life when all you want is someone to hug. Someone who you can hold tight before sinking into a deep kiss. A person who can make you forget about everything else except for that moment. Job application stresses cease to exist. Work deadlines don’t matter. Food poisoning isn’t noticed. You just feel loved and complete. The last few months I’ve been highly stressed and frequently sick. Consequently, I haven’t had time to do anything about the fact I’m single. Last night I was free from commitment and appeared healthy. Thus, I seized the moment and went clubbing with friends.

The night started really well – I found my way there without being diverted off the freeway and becoming thoroughly lost like the time before, easily found a car park, entered the club immediately as the line was tiny, and didn’t have to wait for a drink at the bar. Unfortunately, because I appear to be cursed, Dom & I were just starting to groove when my stomach gave a horrible lurch. I’d been in the club for less than 5 minutes and I’d gone from perfectly healthy to dashing to the bathroom to let loose a jet of chunder. Being the highly supportive friend Dom is, he offered to drive me home. However, I was so frustrated that my night was being ruined that I resisted and decided to go for a walk. At this point we met our other friend Chris who decided to tag along. However, as we walked I discovered there was yet more chunder inside me trying to get out. Thus, into the Hungry Jack’s loos I dashed (only one for both men and women and no lock) and out it came. This was a truly horrible experience as not only was I kneeling in a very unsanitary area in an undignified position, but I had four people walk in on me. They all assumed I was completely wasted, and one girl lectured me saying I shouldn’t drink so much if I couldn’t handle my alcohol. As I was driving, I hadn’t had a drop of booze. However, she didn’t appear to believe me (to be fair I wasn’t putting up a very convincing argument). Nevertheless, at this stage I awarded the night a negative 5 star rating. How low can you go?

After this unsavoury incident, I strongly considered going home. However, through optimism (or sheer stupidity) I decided to give it another shot. Thus back to the club we went. For the next hour I would have appeared bi-polar with the mixed signals I was sending out. I’d make eye contact and dance enthusiastically towards someone… Yet then my stomach would lurch and I’d quickly reverse back in the direction I came. It wouldn’t be a good look to be sick in front of someone you were trying to court… and with my lack of experience… I’m bad at courting on a normal day. It was at this point I conceded there was no point pursuing anybody until I knew my stomach had stabilised. Thus I settled for dancing non-vigorously with friends.

This time was time well spent as I spotted someone who absolutely captivated me. They were very attractive, yet didn’t have the arrogant “you know you want this” look. Quite frankly, I thought they were way out of my league. Yet I remained optimistic.

I spent the next quarter of an hour trying to figure out what to do, praying my stomach would stop spasming. However, at this point I made unplanned eye contact and burst into an unrestrained cheesy grin. Much to my surprise and delight, I received a smile in return. Thus, after turning to one of my friends and mouthing, “OH MY GOD!”, I plucked up the courage to walk over and deliver my fantastic opening line, “Hey there. I’m Jamie.”

We then exchanged pleasantries and with great apprehension on my part, started to dirty dance. I survived! I’m sure it was appalling by many people’s standards, yet I felt it passed. It was based solely on the tips provided by my squash team - “Try and put one of your feet between theirs”, “Just keep moving your hips”, “Watch what others are doing” and “Don’t suck”. Thanks guys – you pulled me through.

Hours later when the club had warmed up significantly, we were no longer in the mood for vigorous dancing. However, as sitting down wasn’t really appealing, we adopted what I can only describe as a ‘slow rotational dance’, whereby you’re locked in an embrace and turn slowly. This was absolutely perfect. I would have stayed doing that forever. We made conversation, yet the silences weren’t awkward. At one point, we were interrupted by a small group of people who said, “You guys are just so sweet - the perfect couple”. This just confirmed what I was feeling inside. I’d forgotten I was sick, forgotten about everything else. I was all in the moment.

I don’t know what the future has in store. I seem to be cursed in many regards. I know most people will roll their eyes and think I’m insane. This may be due to the fact I’m a newb at clubs and have had disastrous relationship attempts. However, last night I experienced something I’ve only ever dreamed of.

I live in a low mountain range and once every few years it gets cold enough to snow. Yesterday was one of those days. The snow flakes started falling from the sky while I was driving home from uni. It was magical and put me in a very good mood. There’s something peaceful about snow falling. Unfortunately, it does make driving difficult. Snow flakes aren’t transparent and the ice builds up on your windscreen despite your windscreen wipers. However, I didn’t have far to go so I could just enjoy it.

A short 15 minutes later the snowflakes stopped. Everything looked pretty and white but there wasn’t nearly enough to build a snowman. Thus, we turned up the central heating and life went on as per usual. However, just before bed mum looked out the window and noticed it was snowing again. Thus, we quickly put on our outside spotlights and watched with awe as snow-flakes as big as 20 cent pieces floated past. Given that funky occurrence, I had no alternative but to postpone my sleeping plans.

The view from the kitchen door.

At this point we called our family friend Jo who appears to be quite snowflake crazed. (We’ve seen her cut out paper snowflakes, use computerised snowflake creators and publish links to snowflake websites…) As mum and I were describing the scene before us I ascertained there was sufficient snow to create a snow man. Thus, I quickly excused myself from the phone, pulled on some heavier clothes and set out to build my midnight snowman. Construction took place at midnight and was finished at 12:30am. Isn’t he cool?

My midnight snowman!

My midnight snowman & I.

He was still standing in a sea of white this morning… However, during the day there was rain and his nose fell off. He’s presently still standing… but there’s no snow left around him.

The view of the house this morning. The roof’s normally brown!

Just a note. You can enlarge the photos by clicking on them.

Hope you’re all well!

Friday night started out innocently.  As per usual, CJ, Nicki & I played squash and indulged in souvlaki from our favourite fish ‘n chip shop. However, after that, things got very interesting. For the first time ever, after six years of friendship, the squash gang hit the town together in an alcohol consuming capacity.

Three Angels – Myself, Nicki & CJ

The original plan was to quickly freshen up at Nicki’s and then head straight to the pub. However, as I’m suffering financial limitations I refined our plan to include numerous pre-drinks at Nicki’s. My wish was perfectly accommodated as Nicki’s basement has a bar with a decent sound system. Thus, in no time at all we were enjoying Bailey’s, Bourbon and Vodka whilst bobbing away to the Jane Fonda. Yes, that’s right! There’s a song with chorus lyrics “You know you wanna do the Jane Fonda”. What exactly the Jane Fonda is we can only speculate. Perhaps plastic surgery? Buying a walking frame? Regardless, it’s a good drinking song.

Hitting the pre-drinks…

 
Perhaps too many pre-drinks…

Alright! Yes, there were a few incriminating photos of myself too… However, as it’s my blog I have the editorial privilege of not displaying them. Unfortunately, both CJ and Nicki have copies and I have a bad feeling they’re going to surface at my 21st…

At about 10pm we arrived at the pub and began pondering why there weren’t many people there. A few minutes later we knew exactly why. A large, ugly, intoxicated male leered up on to the DJ’s platform, oafishly grabbed a microphone off a wall rack and began wailing. It was Karaoke night and oh my god, it was bad! Despite consuming heavy amounts of alcohol, I still couldn’t get rid of the involuntary shivers brought about from the auditory crime. Furthermore, the songs that were chosen were all songs that should never have been written in the first place… Thus, you couldn’t even enjoy the backing music! The only relief came in 30 second blocks between karaoke songs where the DJ played something decent. We’re never going to the Hawthorn on a Friday night EVER again! EVER!

Thankfully, the Hawthorn had pool tables and it was through them that CJ introduced us to some of his uni friends… and their friends. Despite the fact that Jamie isn’t really that common a name, there was another Jamie in the group! We played pool together in a team and won! JAMIE POWER! Oh yeah! There was also another guy called Chris who works for a web-hosting company. He was quite surprised when I knew it by name, where it was located, and quizzed him about wages. (I’d considered applying for a job there once…) It turned out he goes to my uni and is doing my course, albeit a year ahead of me. Freaky but cool! You don’t meet many web-hosting enthusiasts off the street!

Ever since watching Miss Congeniality I’ve always wanted to try beer and pizza. It has such a cool ring to it! “Beer and Pizza.” How can you resist? Earlier in the evening, on the way to the pub I’d noted the local pizza place and that it closed at midnight. Thus, at 11:50pm I ran around to everyone and excitedly ranted and raved about ‘beer and pizza’ and soon I had a small procession of people that followed me down to the pizza place at the end of the block. It was the best pizza I’ve ever tasted! As we realised we couldn’t bring beer to the pizza place, and couldn’t bring pizza to the pub, we ate the pizza and then went back to the pub and ordered a jug of beer. (The line we actually used was “a jug of your cheapest beer”. We’re uni students ok? There’s no shame!) It was awesome! Fantasy fulfilled.

Before we knew it we were on the last train and back at Nicki’s place. Unfortunately, we were all feeling a little dance-deprived as the music quality at the pub had not permitted dance as an option. Thus, we enjoyed a few post-drinks while bobbing to the clubbing songs on the early morning radio.

Chris (web-hosting dude) and the gang.

Finally we unwound by watching “Bring It On Again”, the poorly made sequel to the much worshipped “Bring It On”. It had potential but just never made it. There were no fun cheers and the lack of boisterous music made the routines positively boring. I’m not sure whether it was the movie or the hour… but one of them served to put us to sleep and the next thing I knew, it was 1pm on Saturday. Very good times. Thanks guys!

I woke up this morning, rolled over, reached for my phone, knocked over a pile of CDs, swore, restacked my CDs, and then successfully got my phone and turned it on. Within seconds it was beeping telling me I had a few missed calls… all from Krystal. As I wasn’t yet in any fit state for a phone call I wandered, in my typical morning daze, to the bathroom. Much to my horror, while in the bathroom I could hear my phone start to ring… and I wasn’t in a position to run and answer it. Thus, I made the only sane decision and decided to be at peace with nature and let it ring out. A minute later I exited the bathroom to find my Dad standing by the door holding our house-phone… and you can guess who was on the line! That’s right! Krystal! I’ll tell you what, if she were a tele-marketer life wouldn’t be worth living!

Anyway, as a result of the subsequent phone call I met Krystal for a picnic lunch in a local park… and she brought Leo! Leo’s her young, friendly, playful and absolutely adorable Labrador! (Boy can they grow a lot in a year! I was with Krystal when she got him and he was tiny back then!) Anyway, we demolished a couple of salad rolls and had a good catch-up before moving on to Frisbee! (Yeah, that’s quite an obsession of late!) Leo didn’t seem too interested in playing, but he used the Frisbee as a drinking bowl so we all benefited…  Actually, it’s not that clear cut. Whether Krystal benefited is under some doubt.

One of my first throws fell short and ploughed into Krystal’s big toe. However, she was strong, put on a brave face and we continued to play. (You go girl!) However, a minute or so later Krystal was wounded again when one of her attempts to catch the Frisbee failed. The disc hit her hands and bounced up hard into her forehead. (It’s quite a solid Frisbee too so I’m guessing this hurt a lot!) Krystal didn’t look quite as keen to resume play this time, but she did so anyway. However, it must have been Krystal’s unlucky day as strike three came after another few throws. The Frisbee danced around Krystal’s hands and slammed into her gut. (I’m sorry Krystal… I thought you’d have fun!) As a result, we called it quits and took some photos.

However, Krystal’s pain didn’t end with Frisbee. We both lay down next to each other to try and take a photo of our heads by holding the camera above us. However, Leo apparently interpreted this as a signal to play stacks-on! He appeared to have a mini tap-dance on top of Krystal before she managed to remove him.

In conclusion, I went home feeling refreshed and happy. Leo went home happy and well exercised. Krystal went home battered and bruised.

Well, despite the fact that this party occurred at the start of the year, I promised everyone the photos. Thus, here’s a blog entry… only a couple of months late. :-p Click on the photos to display a larger version.

In mid-February I held a post-Christmas party. Why post Christmas? Because I promised everyone a party in December… but it didn’t happen! In short, the party was a blast… my favourite night ever! We played twister, toasted marshmallows on the fire, watched a DVD, decorated ourselves with glow-sticks, played table tennis, roamed a children’s adventure playground and played THE GAME (I just lost by the way…). Furthermore, much to my delight, about 10 people stayed the night so the fun continued into the next day! Despite the fact that we had all had an hour or less sleep, we grabbed a Frisbee and went down to the village green. We split into teams and played a Frisbee adaptation of netball! It was awesome!

A slightly tipsy Jamie…

I’d like to quickly thank my parents for vacating the house at my request… Mum was a bit wary at first but quickly came around. Before she returned at the end of the night she even rang me to ask “Is it okay to come home now?” While I was in the planning stages of the party I was talking to Haley and said that my parents would probably hear a headline “House burns down during party!” and come back and murder me… However, Haley quickly put me at rest and told me the headline would be “House burns down during party… in a responsible fashion!” LOL

Just out of interest, it appears that at every single party there’s a group photo featuring Heidi and I with our arms around each other. Take a look at this blast from the past! I barely recognise myself… good thing too!

My 16th birthday party…

TWISTER!

Heidi doing the splits… involuntarily! OUCH!

Heidi’s rear end under close inspection from Sarah and myself… Clearly it’s better!

Anyway, I’m really lucky to have you all as friends… You’re the best! I seriously couldn’t ask for anyone better!

So you think Charlie’s cool with his three angels? Well step aside Charlie… I have five!

Robyn, Ellen, Tracey (Melissa), Haley, Lini & myself

Last Tuesday several uni friends and I spent the evening in Melbourne’s botanical gardens. It’s a fantastic destination made all the more special by the fact it’s one of the few places where the grass is still lush and green. It’s now quite apparent that water restrictions are really taking their toll! The State Library’s lawn is now just dust. Anyway, upon arrival at the gardens our group commandeered a large area of this precious commodity to play frisbee. Unfortunately, a few of us hadn’t played in a while and an innocent lady suffered as a result. It’s almost certain she won’t turn her back on a frisbee again… at least not one in the hands of *censored*! Thankfully, the lady was very good natured about it. As a small consolation, by the end of our sessions we posed almost no threat to public safety.

 
Myself & Mike

As luck would have it, despite the fact we’re in a serious drought, the one night we chose to go out it started to drizzle. As a result, we prematurely adjourned our lawn sports to shelter under a tree to eat. We enjoyed a scrump-didly-umptious meal featuring Ellen’s quiche and Robyn’s home-baked Turkish bread (suspiciously sealed in commercial packet). Unfortunately, Haley committed a serious crime and took photos while we were eating. All I can say is that the lens must have been reinforced as any other would have shattered. I dare not display the images here for fear of damaging your monitor!!!

Amanda & I

Thankfully the drizzle stopped after dinner and allowed us to set up camp to see A Midsummer Night’s Dream performed live on the outside stage. The performance far surpassed my expectations and I think I speak for everyone when I say we thoroughly enjoyed it. Long live the Australian Shakespeare Company! The play was easily comprehended and balanced the traditional script with modern humour. For instance, when the Fairy Lord was angered by his servant Puck, he sent Puck away with the command, “Puck off!” Many of you may also recall sitting down to watch a movie and seeing a lion’s head in a circle roaring as part of a film production company’s advert. In the play, the Athenian theatre company had a banner with a circle on it. As their play was being introduced a lion’s head burst through the circle and roared. It was really unexpected and gave me a good laugh! The props employed were also quite inventive. For instance pink glow-sticks were used to represent fairy magic! I was very impressed.

During interval, when the sun had set, I revealed my own glow-stick stash which brought out the angelic side in everyone. We also hit the chocolate, brie & biscuits and Haley’s awesome brownies. Haley also took the opportunity to make up for her earlier wrongs and took some nice photos of everyone.

Haley & I (Our true colours as depicted by Haley)

After the play, on the way back to Flinders Street Station, I was amazed to see how just how wonderful Melbourne looks at night. The Shrine was lit up brilliantly, the spire was its usual neon glowing self and there were green floodlights in the trees. Really spectacular! I need to try to get in there more often.

Once we reached the station, Amanda and I caught a train back to her place. As neither of us felt like sleeping, we amused ourselves watching the quality *cough cough* free-to-air TV programming of the early morning. We started with Quizmania and went downhill from there. After Passions we progressed to Christian fanatics instructing us how to get out of a pit we’re in, even if we don’t know we’re in it! For more information we were directed to buy a book selling for $39.95 but with free shipping if we bought while the show was screening. It was so bad we just couldn’t look away!

In short it was a fantastic night with great friends! Thanks Lini & Tracey (or was it Melissa?) for doing the organising!